dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
