they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
home. puking in laundry basket.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
