After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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