bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
When are your genitals available?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
