are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
the day after is always just damage control
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
