...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
