I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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