Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
