Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
