Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
