I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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