Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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