Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
