I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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