Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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