I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
