playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
