thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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