soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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