I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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