My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
