I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
