ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just want to make out with him forever
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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