I need help removing her.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
