I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
