Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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