I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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