is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
