I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
