We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just want nice things and good sex
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
