i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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