Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
