I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
