we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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