Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
