So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
