you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
