I just made out with a guy for $7.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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