I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
