i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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