just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
