I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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