thus making me awesome and them whores
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
