8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
