we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
