I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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