Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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