my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
