I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
