he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
