My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
